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Det. Soap Can't get a Break

Martin Soap: Just Can’t Get a Break

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The unluckiest guy in New York.

Some people are just unlucky from the very start, just like Martin Soap who immediately after being born with dropped on his head by a nurse. His teenage mother gave him up forcing Soap to grow up in an orphanage where, like all fictional orphanages meant it was a horrible experience. Bullied and beaten Soap always got the shit end of the stick.

At age ten, Soap ran away from the orphanage eventually being caught by an alcoholic cop who only pulled over in order to vomit. The cop gave Soap a ride back and at the same time became Soap’s inspiration to join the NYPD, After school, he made good on this goal and eventually even ranked the rank of detective. But his unlucky streak continued because he was shortly assigned to the “Punisher Task Force” as a scapegoat. The task force is a crock, just pandering to politics and Ma Gnucci (the preeminent crime boss) to do something about the Punisher. But the police force actually likes the Punisher and the fact that he’s cleaning the streets, so the NYPD just dropped poor old Soap in the mix.

Eventually even giving him a partner, another unliked cop Lt. Molly Von Richthofen. The two of them didn’t do much but after a series of events winded up actually catching the Punisher, but let him go after he gave Soap evidence to blackmail the mayor and police commissioner. Which Soap did ending up as Police Commissioner himself, but like everything in Soap’s life that came to an abrupt and sad end when was blackmailed with photos of him with a prostitute.

Soap’s begins abusing alcohol and has a series of odd sexual encounters, hooking up with a transsexual, regularly with different prostitutes, and at one point even a hooker, who was presumed to actually be his birth mother (whom he’s never met). ┬áHe also puts a gun to his head only to stopped by the Punisher and asked to continue providing information through the police databases.

At the end, after trying to gain some confidence and make something of himself ,Soap shoots the Punisher but hits his kevlar instead.. Dismayed and once again unsure of himself, Soap follows advice that the Punisher gave him a while back to “just go,” so off he went. Soap ended up in L.A. and for once his luck turned, he became a successful porn star.

So it worked out for the poor chump in the end, only after having to endure…well, his entire life of pure crap.

 

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